Michael and the disappearing fungus!

All right, this is not an entry about cricket in its purest sense. But well, one of the game’s practitioners gave me a nasty shock a couple of days ago and I am still reeling.

I refer to the man they call Pup. Michael Clarke. Notwithstanding his refusal to walk and his claiming a rather dubious catch at Sydney, the lad did not fit the “Ugly Aussie” tag. Well, not in appearance, at least – he had a rather wide-eyed innocent look and a nice shock of blonde hair. A bit like a smaller version of Owen Wilson with an intact nose. Even my 63-year-old mum had muttered, “Kitna pyaara bachcha hai!” (What a sweet child he is)

Alas, no more.

When I was watching the highlights of the first day’s play at Perth, I saw someone in the Aussie ranks who looked like Adam Hall (the South African of the short hair, massive posterior and all round skills) on the field. My curiosity turned to shock and then sheer horror as I realised that the person masquerading as Hall was none other than Pup. Gone was the mop of blonde hair and in its place stood cranial fungus that seemed reminiscent of a crop that had been ravaged by wildfire. Yeah, the gap-toothed grin was still there but heck, it now looked grotesque.

Seldom has beauty been so rapidly metamorphosed into something beast-like, albeit with a winsome grin. Alas and alack! 'twould seem that Clarke has attempted to follow Becks' footsteps. Thankfully, he has not yet married a Spice Girl and has shown no tendency (reported at least) to prance around in ladies' undergarments but who has seen the future?

Needless to say, I witnessed his demise at the crease with a smirk and an eye that was totally dry! Thus fall those that dare to literally take a weight off their minds (I am sure his hair weighed a fair bit!).

Finally a couple of disclaimers: 1. No, I ain’t gay. 2. No, I am not reacting like this because Clarke has got a barber to do to his scalp what nature seems to be doing without any prior request to mine!